I’ve been sitting with this feeling for a very long time. I haven’t written in a blog in a very long time, but I feel deeply hurt and raw over the mistreatment of black entrepreneurs in the past few months. Follow along with me, as I tell my story and process some real feelings. 

I started a Diversity and Inclusion workshop in late May, based on the interactions I’ve had in the coaching world and on the sheer whiteness of my little entrepreneur bubble. I loved running the workshop and how easy it was to get my message across. My stance has always been that I will not hold your hand and coddle you as you learn about injustice… because white fragility is a huge problem. 

Following my initial workshop… there was a flurry of fake activism. In June, when George Floyd was murdered and a ripple of outrage spread across the internet. Since white people decided to be outraged about the centuries of mistreatment of black people in America. 

All of a sudden, non-black entrepreneurs looked to people like myself for guidance on how to be “woke” and how to be better to black people. White entrepreneurs were UP in my DMs, praising me for my authentic messages and my strength. It felt weird and ingenuine. Like why are you all up my ass now – why are you seeing me now, when I have been here for the past year, being fabulous. I was getting hired left and right to do guest coaching, summits, and podcasts… but only on inclusion + diversity… no one wanted to hear about video marketing, client attraction, or anything else that I’ve been talking about. Basically, it was mostly because I provided a “flavor of the month”, which was diversity. 

I got booked for so many podcasts that I was all of a sudden the “diversity girl”. People were mass tagging me as an anti-racism resource (which I am not) and tuning into my IG lives just to see my black rage unfold as entertainment. 

I got into arguments in my DMs with other coaches in my network who tried to gaslight me, but then to their audience cried very white tears about being bullied. It was traumatizing and unfair. And racist…

I had so many questions and DMs that I even decided to create a group program called “Do Better”, which guided entrepreneurs how to be more inclusive in their businesses and marketing. It was not an anti-racism course, but more of a guiding force on how to run a business that is true to your values and attracts the right kind of clients.

In July, I felt everything shift. White people did not care as much about the movement and went back to launching their programs, posting selfies on their feed, and removing that pesky black square from their profile photo. I personally noticed a dip in guest coaching bookings and in attendance to my live videos. If I wasn’t talking about diversity, people didn’t want to hear it. 

I realized that I was traumatized from being used by white entrepreneurs to look good for their brand, only for them to disappear from sight once they got what they wanted. I decided to return to therapy, accept help from an excellent mindset/business coach, who also happens to be trained in counseling, and pick up the pieces. I decided to stop taking podcast interviews and summit requests, in order to protect my mental health and the health of my unborn baby. 

It has been very hard emotionally as I come to terms with all of the people that have passed through me and the very transactional nature of the past few months. I made a ton of cash, which I am so grateful for, but I also now am struggling because that influx of cash was based mostly on white people using me for their own personal development, without really committing to any long-term change. Yes, there are some people that truly care and are continuing to speak up, but 75% of the others are back to business as usual. 

I feel torn about keeping the title “Business and Diversity Coach” because I do not want to cater to the white-centered idea of diversity as “attracting more black and brown people into your clientele”. I believe in including the RIGHT messaging that speaks to your values and morals, which will include more dream clients. I believe in having a diverse product suite with all price points, and diverse marketing messages that aren’t seeped in privilege. So for now, I will keep my title because I think diversity is more than just having a diverse clientele or audience, it is about being open for more intentional messaging, conversations and growth in business.

I want us black business owners to be seen as the brilliant and complicated humans that we are. I want us to be recognized for more than just diversity and inclusion tips. I want to be a millionaire and take everyone who looks like me up to the top. I want black people to be treated as humans – not as a transactional relationship that benefits non-black people. 

There’s no big “a-ha” moment here because I am still processing my feelings and haven’t figured out the lesson here. Thank you for listening to me as I process my feelings and think about what is next.

Xo,

Simone