After training hundreds of people and fielding many questions about allyship, the same question always persists.

The question is “how do I become a better ally?”. This question does not have an easy answer. There are many approaches to practicing allyship and advocating for historically excluded people. 

If you are completely stuck, here are a few ways to intentionally add more allyship behaviors today. 

Define who exactly you want to be an ally to.

There are many layers of diversity and identity, but it is first important to decide exactly who you are advocating for. “Everyone” is not a great approach, because different historically excluded groups have different needs.

To start out, I would write down who you feel most called to advocate for and why it is important to you. If it is a historically excluded group of people, go one step further and look for organizations to financially support. 

For example, in 2022 I would like do more advocacy work for the LGBTQIA+ community, specifically the Black trans community. I want to do this work because 2021 has been the deadliest year for trans murders and I want to help put a stop to those unacceptable statistics. I plan on volunteering my time, learning from trans creators, and donating to organizations like Trans Lifeline and Bridges 4 Life. 

Focus less on being an ally and more on practicing allyship

There are many “self-identifying allies”. They are the well-intentioned good people that say they would never hurt a fly. Unfortunately harm can still persist, even if it is not intentional.

Being an “ally” is not an identity, it is actually the action of allyship that makes the most impact. The identity of being an ally as a personality trait is not helpful or productive. It bypasses the most important of allyship, which is taking action. 

Instead of focusing on the warm and fuzzy feeling of calling yourself an ally, focus on taking actionable steps to dismantle systemic oppression. This can look like educating yourself

Set aside time and monetary resources towards learning from historically excluded groups

Time is money and money is time. Donating your time to organizations that have a mission to end systemic oppression and provides resources for underserved communities is a path to more meaningful allyship. 

Also, carefully researching organizations that align with your values is important. Choosing an organization with a mission that you are passionate about and can create change will cause a large ripple effect.

Understand your own privilege and bias

Everyone has privilege and if you have a brain, then you also have bias. Taking time to understand the privileges that you currently have can help you know your role in advocating for others. 

For example, if you are heterosexual, it is important to understand the privilege of heteronormativity and how it is perpetuated in society. It is a privilege to be able to marry your partner without being questioned about your sexuality by family or co-workers. 

Bias is important to recognize as well. Once you are able to recognize biases that you have learned, then you can actively work on disrupting them and to choose different actions. 

Challenge yourself to go beyond listening and learning

Listening and learning was so 2020. It is nearly 2022 and there are so many ways to be more active as an advocate. 

Learning is a phenomenal way to grow, but most self-identifying “allies” attended one workshop on diversity and read 25 pages of “How to be Anti-Racist”. Then after completing these things, it was back to the day to day business. The problem with “listening and learning” is that it stops there. Push yourself to go further than the status quo and take action. 

Some things you can do right now:

• Using your voice to disrupt racist, homophobic or transphobic jokes.
• Support Black and brown owned businesses by paying full price for their products and offerings
• Educate your kids about others differences and urge their schools include teachings from multicultural sources
• Check your racist uncle at the next family dinner

Now is the time to go and practice allyship in your everyday life. You will make some mistakes, you may get complacent at times, but it is important to remember that this a lifelong commitment. Not just something cute to do for social media.

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